Some have said that my comments in the Daily Migration Note are brusque or just plain old rude. Others have said that I am condescending in my notes. A number of years ago a project manager actually said he found me "abusive and your attitude repugnant". (I always keep those good emails so that I can refer to them later.) Others call me up to see if I am still sane or whether I'm going to go postal.
I am, by my own admission, a strange duck. Pressure doesn't affect me the same as other people. I've been in situations where an the vast majority of an organization was sitting on their hands, waiting for me to come up with a solution. I've been the key person involved in resolving a payroll issue that affected tens of thousands of people. While they are stressful situations, the pressure of the problem, the adrenaline that is produced, all blend together.
And yet, some things make me react quite harshly. Yes, even quite rudely. Why?
At a recent event there was an opportunity to evaluate myself based on a number of different characteristics. Based on my answers to the questions, I was (drum roll please) not a people person. This may not be a surprise to a bunch of you, maybe all of you. What the quiz showed me was something that I knew all along: process and logic are the key factors when I am dealing with work.
So, what does this mean? Well, if things don't make sense to me I have a tendency of digging my heels in and saying "No". If there is no logical sequence of events I have a tendency of saying "stop". If people try to pressure me to do something that I think is illogical, I fight back.
Do you know what actually makes sense to me? Something that is a logic progression when resolving a problem? A partnership. Not a partnership where one or more sides pay lip service to the idea of a partnership so that they can check it off their list of marketing responsibilities (there are many such partnerships amongst major corporations that fall into this category), but a true partnership where each side is working towards a common goal and where all parties are free to bring forth ideas to the table. No finger pointing. No "blame game" tactics.
I have been involved in a number of different groups that were true partnerships between two or more groups and the results are amazing. With the freedom to make any suggestion about any topic without fear of reprisal the ideas and solutions that come out of such a group are amazing. There is tremendous difficulty in this as you need to leave your ego at the door and be willing to admit you were wrong. You need to understand that there is more than one way to skin a cat and that yours may not be as effective. And, in a true partnership, you don't try to pressure people to follow your lead or your suggestion, you true to influence them and persuade them that your way is appropriate to try. As soon as you try pressuring people the partnership is gone. And, in my case, I start resorting to my stock answers of "no" and "you must be kidding".
Partnerships. Give them a try and you'll be amazed at what you can do.
1 comment:
I feel your pain Don...I have a very strong preference toward logical approaches to problems. On the Meyers-Briggs Type Indicator, my Thinking preference came up as a 45...out of 50. Keep in mind that this is a continuum that runs from:
Feeling------------------Thinking
50<--------------0------------>50
It's a looooong journey for someone like me to get to the emotion.
However most people typically make decisions based on emotional responses and then rationalize those decisions using logic or data - I can expect the entire world to bend to the power of my logic (and at my worst, I can become incredibly dogmatic)...but it doesn't always get me what I want.
Drives me nuts, because I also have the annoying habit of being right, as I am sure, do you.
Now all that ego aside (confidence about my intellectual prowess is not a problem, but I have massive issues with confidence in my interactions with people...fish out of water), I have learned that by wrapping my head around that emotional aspect and changing my approach, I'm much more likely be be successful without creating cartloads of stress for myself and others. The more that I practice this, the better I get at it, and the better the results are.
Just because I'm right doesn't give me the right to mow down people in my path who may lack the information/knowledge/training/experience that I have.
Emotional intelligence is just as important as raw intellect. Put both together and it's a powerful package.
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